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Dear Dad, sometimes I felt initially defeated with my personal defects and lack of inner strength in pursuing your tall orders and ambitious goals. Most of the time I feel like I’m not belongs to you for I’m not even having your qualities. Forgive me for I’m not capable of reaching your expectation and perspective. But if you read this, I really want you to know that every single attempt that I took in whatever task, I just want you to be proud of me even though I already knew that those undertakings, if I manage to succeed, definitely would not be seen as an attempt to compete, nor even replace Leo’s attainments. Perhaps, there is a truth behind your words that “Leo was born with lucky...and I so lucky to be born”. It’s really hurt. Deep inside my heart, I really want you to view me as your legacy and takes great pride in it.

Sometimes, I feel like I’m the person who is destined to fail in life and I really wish that I could make it different. Most of the time, I’m so envy with my colleague who always achieve whatever they want even though I’m full of myself that I have put great energy and afford to get the same things. The one who should be blamed is me. Me alone. But I knew that God promised not to test me more than what I can handle. It is the unshaken faith that I hold continuously. You know Dad, every time we went out together and you met you friends, you always miss to introduce me as your son. I knew that i'm embarrassing you. But you are forgiven dad. As I, too, long to be forgiven.

This is not going to be the end of my attempt for I shall take it as a challenge and retry no matter what it takes, even though I have to forego the state of being alive because nothing would be more alive than hearing from you saying “that’s my boy”.....